- An effective eulogy combines specific personal memories with broader character traits and values that capture the essence of the person being remembered.
- The most powerful eulogies share genuine moments and emotions rather than just listing achievements.
- While each eulogy should be unique to the person and relationship, successful ones typically follow a similar structure: opening with the speaker's connection to the deceased, sharing meaningful stories and memories, acknowledging their impact on others, and closing with reflections on their legacy.
Saying goodbye to someone we love is never easy. Writing their eulogy - that special speech given at a funeral - might feel overwhelming, but it's one of the most meaningful ways to honour their memory. This guide will help you craft a loving tribute that captures what made your loved one special, with real examples to inspire you.
What Makes a Good Eulogy?
Think of a eulogy as telling your loved one's life story through your eyes. You don't need to be a professional writer - speaking from the heart is what matters most. A touching eulogy usually includes:
- Special memories you shared together
- Their best qualities and what made them unique
- The impact they had on others
- What you'll miss most about them
Sample Eulogy for a Parent
Here's an example of how you might honour a beloved mother:
"My mother was an extraordinary woman who touched countless lives during her 68 years with us. Many of you knew her as Mrs. Thompson, the third-grade teacher who spent 35 years helping children discover their love of reading. Others knew her as the neighbor who always had a fresh-baked pie ready when someone was having a hard day. To me and my sister Jenny, she was simply Mom – our biggest cheerleader, strongest supporter, and gentlest critic.
Mom had this remarkable ability to make everyone feel special. Whether you were a student struggling with multiplication tables or a friend going through a divorce, she knew exactly what to say and do to lift your spirits. Her famous chocolate chip cookies weren't just treats; they were her way of saying "I love you," "I'm proud of you," or "Things will get better."
I remember coming home from school one day after failing a big test, dreading having to tell her. Instead of lecture, she sat me down at our kitchen table, made hot chocolate with extra marshmallows (her cure for all of life's problems), and helped me make a study plan. That was Mom – always finding the perfect balance between comfort and encouragement.
Her garden was her sanctuary, and she spent countless hours tending to her roses and vegetables. Even during her final months, when walking became difficult, she would sit in her wheelchair among her flowers, teaching her grandchildren about the different plants and sharing stories about her own mother's garden.
Mom faced her illness the same way she faced everything in life – with grace, courage, and concern for others. Even during her hospital stays, she was more worried about whether Dad was eating properly or if her students had a good substitute teacher.
The world feels dimmer without her bright smile and infectious laugh, but I know she would want us to remember her with joy rather than sadness. Mom always said that life was too short for matching socks or making beds perfectly – what mattered was making time for the people you love. She lived by those words every single day."
Sample Eulogy for a Grandparent
For a cherished grandfather, here is a short example of what you might say:
"Grandpa Joe wasn't just a grandfather - he was a master storyteller, a dedicated gardener, and the wisest person I knew. His vegetable garden was his pride and joy, and he used it to teach us kids about patience and hard work. 'Nothing worth having comes easy,' he'd say as we helped him pull weeds on summer mornings.
His stories about growing up during the Great Depression weren't just history lessons - they taught us about resilience and gratitude. He could fix anything with duct tape and wire, and his workshop was like a magical place where broken things got second chances."
Tips for Writing Your Eulogy
Writing a eulogy is one of the most meaningful ways to honor a loved one's memory, yet finding the right words during such an emotional time can feel overwhelming. Whether you're preparing to speak at a funeral or memorial service, this guide will help you create a heartfelt tribute that celebrates your loved one's life, shares cherished memories, and brings comfort to those gathered to remember them. The tips below will walk you through the process step by step, helping you craft a eulogy that is both personal and memorable.
Start Early
Don't wait until the last minute to begin writing your eulogy. Give yourself ample time to write, reflect, and revise your words. Writing a eulogy is an emotional journey, and you may need breaks to process your feelings. It's perfectly normal if your first draft isn't what you envisioned - many people go through several versions before finding the right tone and message. Starting early also allows you to gather thoughts from family and friends who might share memories you'd like to include.
Keep It Personal
Share specific memories and stories that capture who your loved one truly was. Did they have a favorite saying that made everyone smile? A special talent that brought joy to others? Include these meaningful details to paint a vivid picture of their character. Think about the small moments that defined them - their morning coffee ritual, the way they laughed, their dedication to helping others, or the advice they always gave. These personal touches help guests remember your loved one's unique spirit and the impact they had on those around them.
Find the Right Length
Aim for about 5-7 minutes of speaking time, which translates to roughly 500-750 words. While you may have countless memories to share, remember that a concise, well-crafted message often carries more impact than a longer one. Consider your audience and the overall service schedule - it's better to leave people wanting more than to go on too long. Focus on your most meaningful stories and messages, ensuring each word serves a purpose in honouring your loved one's memory.
Practice Reading It Aloud
Read your eulogy out loud several times before the funeral. This practice serves multiple purposes - it helps you become comfortable with the words, allows you to time yourself, and reveals any awkward phrases that need smoothing out. You might want to practice in front of a trusted friend or family member who can offer support and feedback. Remember to speak slowly and clearly, and mark places in your text where you might need to pause for composure. It's perfectly acceptable to show emotion during delivery - this is, after all, a deeply personal moment.
Common Challenges and Solutions
It's normal to get emotional while delivering a eulogy. To mitigate this challenge, keep these tips in mind:
- Have a backup person ready to take over if needed
- Keep a glass of water nearby
- Take deep breaths before starting
- Know it's okay to pause or show emotion
Final Thoughts
Writing a eulogy is your chance to share what made your loved one special. Don't worry about making it perfect - focus on speaking from your heart. Remember, everyone attending the service is there to support each other and honor your loved one's memory.
The most beautiful eulogies aren't necessarily the most eloquent - they're the ones that genuinely capture the essence of the person being remembered. By sharing your personal memories and feelings, you're helping keep their legacy alive in the hearts of everyone present.
Whether you're writing for a parent, grandparent, sibling, or friend, trust that your words, spoken with love and sincerity, will be a fitting tribute to someone who meant so much to you and others.